Mediocrity Rules, Man

There are so many distractions every day, so many reasons to feel defiant, to allow for interruptions… and to be interrupted. How is it possible for so many people to have so many expectations?

It starts to feel like I have alleviated some of the pressures of the outside world, but then I take notice of the line forming outside of my front door (which isn’t really my front door at all). These people are translating my existence for me, extending their expectations just beyond my reach, outlining rules and guidelines, asking for favors in return, requesting my undivided attention.

The gravitational pull of my universe is just another brute with a plan to sucker me out of the precious hours in my day, like outsourcing my time and energy serves a clear purpose in my life and judgment is best reserved for those who would sooner consume all of my dreams than support my affinity for mediocrity.

Well, I am not fully justified in my feelings considering I bear the weight of each choice I make and believe me when I say I carry that weight around with me every day. The consistency of persistent people and the burden of hope deferred make it easy to do so and I am only now beginning to realize the toll it has taken on me.

I am just so… tired.

So what do normal people do when they are suffering from unrelenting exhaustion (besides psychotropic drugs)?

That’s right; they file their taxes.

Perhaps I couldn’t stand another blow to my financial ego, but at this point I have acquired quite a taste for profiting from the unprofitable.

How is this possible?

Two years ago I became suddenly familiar with the concept of itemized deductions and now there is nothing better than the sight of my adjusted gross income (in all of its intangible glory) refined to a meager percentage of that which was (my taxable income.)

Enter disgruntled business owner who never received tax credits promised by the U.S. government last fiscal year.

Yes, the freedom that comes with listing my annual expenses for the sake of claiming a reduced income is at times all too good to be true but as we all know,  great power is often followed by misuse of power, resulting in even greater consequences. These itemized deductions are nothing short of a liability for any regular, legal-American citizen who is avoiding an increased taxable income contribution (for the sake of the trillion-dollar recession.)

Not paying taxes rules, man. And so does mediocrity. It’s a blessing that I ever even learned to count, let alone to itemize my own deductions.

Along with the freedom of practicing my right to recruit and exploit my own annual expenses, my American citizenship has also earned me the right to claim a particular amount– not to exceed my adjusted income. But this comes at the risk of the IRS rifling through the precarious list I have provided and consulting with my people (a.k.a. turbo tax) in order to afford me a more warranted list of expenses. Something less tangible would be ideal but these guys insist on seeing a paper trail and anything less qualifying may easily lend itself to the scrutiny of the IRS, therefor eternally bearing  the mark of my financial peril.  And for all of those people who are familiar with the procedure of a comprehensive tax audit, perhaps the risk isn’t worth the gain of a possible return– but for the rest of us, we might as well keep on deducting one charitable expense after another–lest we find ourselves affording a more desirable occupation (and acquiring a more profitable income overall).

We could all use a few extra exceptions during THESE which make up the days of the great modern recession. Don’t worry, generation-x, it’s not  long until the baby boomers who preceded us find themselves in a state of geriatric dysplasia and we too can profit from their misfortune, as they have long since profited from ours.

Exit disgruntled business owner who never received the tax credits promised by the U.S. government last fiscal year.

Consider my tax returns as good as filed! And yet I am still so terribly exhausted…


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